A lot of time has passed since I last blogged here, and a lot has happened since, but this post is not about that, and it would probably be somewhat pointless trying to bring my readers up to speed considering that I barely even have readers at this point. This will change, but in the mean time I just want to put these thoughts out there.
If I’ve learned anything in life, including the past few years and months it is that the only thing or person one needs to be loyal to is the self. Whatever so called “loyalty” is exercised towards other persons it is only as a result of, not in contradiction to, loyalty to the self. If you are loyal to someone else without being loyal to yourself you are just depersonalizing yourself. Not only is this ultimately self-destructive, it is actually dishonest. If your loyalty to others doesn’t come from the core of what you are as a person then you’re just pretending.
An interesting thing about being loyal to nobody, but yourself is that it is a great way to motivate yourself to try and accomplish things. Say you have a job in which you have to do certain things you don’t quite like doing or aren’t particularly passionate about. If you keep thinking about the job as something you just have to do for someone else in order to earn a paycheck, it probably wouldn’t make you feel very good. You’re still essentially stuck being someone elses servant in exchange for survival.
But there’s a different way of looking at it. You could think of the job you do as something you do for yourself, not for your boss. Instead of thinking of your boss as an authority, you can think of him or her as someone you are using to get what you want. Suddenly the center of gravity is yourself, as it should be, because only you can be truly in control of your life. You can then go further with this and devise an entire plot, a life’s plan, for what you want to accomplish in life and how does that job help you do that. You are no longer a servant, but the master. You are no longer helpless, but powerful. You are no longer a passenger. You are in the driver’s seat.
There are other examples. Take for instance something called “brand loyalty” which often goes so far as to have people fight each other verbally over which brand is better (Mac vs. PC, PS3 vs. Xbox vs. Wii etc.). It shouldn’t be hard to step back a little and see just how stupid this is. Here you are wasting your time and energy promoting someone elses product, someone elses vision, doing someone elses bidding. If you had a brand of your own every other brand you associate yourself with, every tool is there in service of propping up your own brand.
No matter in which situation you find yourself in life, you are the boss. There are only two things in existence as far as you are concerned: you and the universe with everything in it that you care about. The universe is yours to mold with as much available power as you’ve got.
Of course, this doesn’t mean we should manipulate each other into submission, try to make each other servants. Everyone should be the boss, and if this sounds unsustainable, think about honesty again, because that’s all it comes back to. A person who is not the boss of his or her own life is in conflict with the self, and that’s dishonesty. It’s denying something that makes you who you are. If you are not right with yourself how will you be right with others? Your relationships will be based upon a fake or half image of who you are, not on who you really are.
Everyone being the boss doesn’t mean nobody ever doing anything for anyone, even for free. It just means that when you do something for someone you do it because you truly want to, because it serves your interests too, not because you think you have to. Conversely, when someone does something for you, you will likely feel a lot better if he or she did it because she really wanted to instead because she thinks she has to! See how this works!
So have no loyalty. Ditch servitude in absolutely all facets of your life. Dream up what you want to accomplish and go for it no matter what.
I know I’m trying to, there’s just no other way.